My
Really
Confusing
Life.
BOOK ONE: ADVENTURE
By Marissa Beaty and partly by Abby Rockhill.
Dedicated to my friends and family for being so good to me.
CHAPTER ONE: THE COMPETITION
“Lovely.” She said. I was on way to being an all-star ice skater! Or that’s at least what my dad says. I’m Jennifer Joy McLatchen. That’s my full name. Anyways… wait? Where was I? Hmmm… Let’s see. “Do you think it’s nice?” I asked my mom. “Lovely.” she said. I was on my way to being an all-… Oh, yea! So, just then my brother Clyde came in my room. “I just wanted to remind you…” he said, “That It’s my turn to wash the dishes tonight.” I finished. “Dang!” Clyde said. I walked out of the room. Clyde followed me and said, “How do you always remember stuff with this…”
he put my fists together. “small of a brain?”
I told him in an I’ll-get-you-back-voice, “It’s just the way I do things.” Clyde rolled his eyes and ran out to the car. “Come on slow poke!” he said. I rolled my eyes at him like he did to me. Like all brothers, this one was REALLY annoying.
“And now here comes Jennifer Mc… Mc…”
“Latchen!!!” My mom yelled. “And here comes Jennifer McLatchen!”
said the announcer, trying again. The crowd clapped like crazy! I came out, but the music did not come. I was so confused I fell flat on my butt! Wait, let me try that again. I fell flat on my gjaghfjkah! Ha! You see, I replaced the bathroom word with gjaghfjkah! Anyway, the speaker said “Ah, folks we have a little problem here. Please stay calm.” But somebody shouted out “Hey the skater!? What’s she doin’ laying down there on the ice!?” Everyone looked at me.
First thing I knew my mom and dad and Clyde were racing on the ice. Soon, everyone was on the ice. Even some news reporters. LOTS more people came to see me. Finally, I got up. “What’s the matter?” everyone said, just not at the same time. (I think you knew that already.) Even the ambulance came. Before I knew it I was checked all over by a doctor. “She hurt her…” the doctor patted an assistant’s gjaghfjkah. “Real bad.” The doctor said. “But just a few days of rest here. Than her gjaghfjkah will get better.” My Mom, Dad, and Clyde nodded there heads.
CHAPTER TWO: THE PLACE
I was reading my fourth book that I had.
It was a fairytale book. Although I didn’t read fairytales usually, I just HAD to read it. The art was so good! I was on the chapter Cinderella when I whispered to myself, “Wow. If I really lived in this book, there would be no embarrassment in your LIFE. I wish I lived there.” Then, the doctor’s desk turned into a gate with vines on it!
Suddenly. It all came together. I was in fairytale land. I’m sorry. But, I have to say this. WHOA! HOLD THE PHONE HERE PEOPLE!
I couldn’t believe it! My gjaghfjkah didn’t hurt anymore! Now, I KNEW I was in fairytale land.
As if you have guessed this already, you probably have found by reading that this is the place. WELL, HERE’S ONE THING: YOU GUESSED RIGHT! So anyways, what do you thing I did? Well, I walked around and then, a girl with a rag dress came running past me. I knew it was Cinderella.
CHAPTER THREE: HELP!
I ran after her. I ran as fast as I could. Soon, I came to a house. Cinderella’s house. The cat, oh… uh… what’s his name again? Well, I will just call him… Fluffy! O.K! Fluffy was making all of these weird sounds and noises, I didn’t know what to do. The door opened. It was her. Cinderella.
or should I say Uh…Oh great!
“Who… who are you?” Cinderella asked. “I’m Jennifer Joy McLatchen.” I said. “A…a, come in.” said Cinderella. “What are you doing here?” Cinderella asked when I was inside. “I really don’t know.” I said, looking around. “I can ask my friends for help.” Cinderella said. “Who are they?” I asked. “Snow White and sometimes, when someone isn’t reading us, Sleeping Beauty.” “O.K.” I said. “Where do they live?” I said. “Go straight through the woods and sometime, you’ll meet a village.” Said Cinderella. “Thanks.” I was on my way.
My face was filled with happiness. I was at the village. I asked somebody, “Does Snow White live here?” “Yes. Over the hills of the forest. And if you’re new to the village, some said she died because of the evil witch.” Suddenly, an evil laugh sprang up like a spring. Something grabbed me. I turned around to see who it was. It was the evil witch. She was staring right at me.
CHAPTER FOUR: THE DUNGUEON
“So… you want to save Snow White? Never. Never ever.” She looked at me for a second.
“Wait. You’re not the prince. Who are you?” “I’m Jennifer.” I said. “Well, Jennifer. How glad to meet you. NOT!” she said. (She was REALLY stupid.) I looked at her, confused. “Don’t look at me that way!” said the witch. (I was out of my mind when I did this.) I said, “You’re stupid.” And boy did she get furious! She yelled, right in my ears, “TO THE DUNGEUON YOU TWIT!” Then, a guard took me and tied my hands behind my back. Then he carried me away to the dungeon.
It was creepy. It was weird. It had ponies and rainbows painted on the wall. It was the brightest thing I ever saw. There were lots of wooden doors. The guard carried me into a wooden door. Ponies and rainbows were painted on the walls, too. The guard put me down. He went through the door and locked it. I huddled myself into a little ball and cried. I would probably never get home.
I was asleep when I heard a noise. A guard opened the door. He said, “The queen has found the stupid twit is a use of a slave.” He put this pole with a circle around my neck. He walked me over to the queen. The queen said, “For now, polish my nails, clean the kitchen and scrub the Grand Hall.” I went to work without saying a word.
CHAPTER FOUR: THE WAY
I was scrubbing the Grand Hall. “Psst! Over here!” Someone called. I quick turned around. It was Cinderella. “Let’s get out of here!” I nodded my head. We climbed out of a window in the Grand Hall. We were suddenly in another room. “What is this place?” I asked. “It’s a booby trap.” Cinderella said. I shivered. Then, while Cinderella was peeking around, I noticed there was some writing on the walls. It said, if You want ever figure this out, you will be free of the evil queen. “Hey. Check it out!” I said. Cinderella looked in my direction.
Cinderella’s mouth plopped open. “I know this handwriting!” she said. She took out a small book. It was titled, The Art of Monotype Sorts.
She flipped a few pages. There was a code. It said,
A=a
B=b
C=c
D=d
E=e
F=f
G=g
H=h
I=i
J=j
K=k
L=l
M=M
N=n
O=o
P=P
Q=Q
R=R
S=S
T=t
U=u
V=V
W=w
X=X
Y=Y
Z=Z
The whole alphabet. “Perfect.” I whispered.
“I figured it out!” said Cinderella. “If you
want…” The walls began to shake. Suddenly, the walls just disappeared. We were out of the booby trap.
CHAPTER FIVE: HOME
I asked while we were running though the woods I asked, “How do I get home?”
“I wish I could help, but I don’t know what to do.” Cinderella said. We were at Cinderella’s house. There was a carriage at the house. Cinderella’s face brightened. “Wait here.” She said. “WHAT?!” I said, confused. “Follow the carriage! Not me! Trust me!” she shouted.
The carriage moved slowly with Cinderella in it. Finally, the carriage and I
were there at the castle. The prince came running out of the palace. “I knew it was you!” he said to Cinderella. “If you don’t mind,” said Cinderella. “There is a girl who needs your help.” She signaled me to come. I tried to walk slowly and gracefully up to the prince. But that all changed when I tripped and fell.
I said, “I was wrong. There is embarrassment
in fairytale land.” The prince and Cinderella laughed. “So… what was your question?”
asked the prince. “Well, you see,” I said. “I was reading you’re story and I wished to be here.” “And…” said the prince. “And I just was here at that moment. My question is, How do I get out of here?” “Ah. I see.” Just then, the prince’s mouth popped open. “THE LIGHT BULB!” he said. “I am Tomas Edison!” said the prince. “You’re a train?” I asked.
“O.K.! Here it is! The light bulb!”
Cinderella and I clapped.
“With this invention you will be returned to your home!” said the prince.
CHAPTER SIX: THE THING
“Now, I shall put these things together!”
said the prince. We had gathered everything we needed to get me home. “I’m going home.” I said.
“Done yet?” I asked after the twentieth hour that the prince was working on it. “No.” he said. “It’s been forever!” I complained. “I’m done!” said the prince. “Good.” I said. “I’m really going to miss you guys.” I said. “You can come back here anytime.” said Cinderella.
“Step on this platform.” said the prince.
“Bye! Bye!” I shouted. “Thank you!”
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE END
I was in my hospital bed. The doctor’s desk wasn’t a gate with vines on it. My gjaghfjkah didn’t hurt as much since last time. I smiled.
I was home. Clyde came running into my room with the doctor. “You can go home with us now!” said Clyde. I felt my face brighten. Then I turned to the doctor. I held up the fairytale book. “Is it O.K. if I keep this?” I asked. “Yea. That’s fine. We have about three-hundred more copies of it here.” said the doctor. I turned to Clyde. “Shall we go?” I asked. “We shall go.” said Clyde.
THE END!
“Hi. I’m Jennifer Joy McLatchen.
Have you ever met Cinderella and her prince? Have you ever gotten captured by the evil queen in Snow White? Have you ever had to be a servant for about… say five minutes? Well, to tell you the truth, I HAVE. I would have said “Yes” to all those questions.
Hi. I’m Marissa Beaty. I’m the author of this book. I wrote a book one, book two, and coming soon a book three. If you like this one, well, call me if you can!(NOT!)