Friday, May 1, 2009

Finding My Way to Highway 10

Today I sent Maren Faith to her Kindergarten "sneak peak". Just to try it on for size. It fit like a glove, I'd say. Her excitement and joy could not be contained.

This was a preview for me too, I think. I have the whole summer to get used to the idea of my baby going to Kindergarten. I have always promised myself that I would not be one of the sentimental, frothy moms - oh believe me it is there waiting to be poured out, but I am going to hold it in check. I think part of that sentimentality is my own selfishness. When your baby is a baby you are so needed, and so unconditionally loved. You have your place in their world. And suddenly you are staring down a four year old with a different idea of what to wear for her Kindergarten preview day. When did that happen?



By the time I left school and turned on to Highway 10, I was okay. I just finished a pretty good book called the Myth of You & Me and one of the characters believes that "all times exist simultaneously". I had a moment like that today. Memories paraded past one by one and I applauded every one. It is a celebration, you know. As moms isn't that what we want most... to see them grow, to see them flourish, to see them find and become the person God meant them to be? I also had visions of her in high school, college, marriage and maybe a family of her own someday. Or maybe not. Maybe my life is not the life she will choose. And that's just fine.

I think the thing that struck me most is how fast it all happens, and did I really appreciate each moment like I should? I have heard people say time goes even faster the older you get. How can that be? But I believe it.



So, here's to preparing for next fall. Just stay out of my way as I leave school that day. Might have a few tears blurring my vision. I'll be fine by the time I get to Highway 10...

3 comments:

Kim said...

What a beautiful black and white of your Kinder girl. I mean that in a real literal way, too. It will be exciting to see what God has in store for her. How fortunate she is to be your daughter.

'Captain Craig' said...

That was a hearfelt and touching relay from your Mother's heart. I think about M & M growing up too. When one of them says 'I want to be a pilot' I bite my tongue 'no'. But just to help steer them on the path they choose is the best and most honorable way . . .

The B Keeper said...

Oh, my heart is pounding for you. Experienced those same emotions this past Fall. Call me if you need someone to parade the flood of emotions past....I'll be here.